Work, MCAT Study, Workout, Work

Oh boy.

I had dairy in tea recently thanks to Tim Horton’s Roll Up the Rim contest, which I am a total sucker for, and I am really attributing this weird mood I’ve been in to that. NO TO DAIRY.

I believe with my whole heart that I am meant to be a physician. I am meant to lead with kindness, knowledge, and compassion. I want to take care of other humans and be a source of inspiration like my doctors have been for me. But when studying for the MCAT, it can seem like a farfetched, unimaginable idea.

My brain does not understand physics. I’m teaching myself organic chemistry, and I haven’t even started biochemistry yet. But I’m scared. Everytime I sit down to tackle a chapter, I have to force myself to focus just on what I am doing. I can’t get overwhelmed with the vast amounts of knowledge that I don’t know  yet, or that I have yet to conquer.

I’m balancing this with working full time, remotely, which is actually difficult but I appreciate the flexibility that it affords me. I’m also trying to workout everyday as I know I always feel better mentally when I do. I’m also trying to loose weight before my wedding.

I’ve been feeling a urge to write, so here I am. I can’t really wrap my head around journaling, so I’m going to online journal. I think that’s a good warm up to an actual journal. It’ll get me in the habit of putting words down, or rather getting them out of my head.

Reflection of the Past 4 Months

On November 30, 2013, I finished my last day of an 11 month co-op term with the BC Lions. I had every intention of finding a paid position or internship in the next 4 months to learn and develop new skills before I headed back to school at the end of April.2013-11-30 13.15.00 HDR

However, that didn’t really turn out. I did find some great projects to be a part of including Networking in Van as their Marketer Intern, Footy for Food the start of my professional social media skills, and Blitz Media as a PR intern to get a glimpse into the PR world. I also recently added TEDxSFU, as their Social Media Manager (more professional experience) to the mix. They were all great projects and I really enjoyed helping out in all these areas. Social media is definitely something I want to incorporate into my career. It is so amazing to be able to connect with people all over the world and makes it so easy to disseminate your message to the masses. Even more impressive is managing how to do this with meaning and getting people engaged. I am really excited to continue to develop these skills with these awesome brands and more in the future.

I also spent a lot of time working on my personal fitness. In September 2013, I ran my first 5km race. In December 2013, I ran my 2nd 5km race, and 1st trail race. In March 2014 I ran my first 10km race in the SNOW. And in August 2014, I will run my first 1/2 marathon! I am so excited to see the physical improvement in my running and my ability to manage and observe all my mental chatter. It has been quite a roller coaster. I go in waves of intense desire to be active, but then there are other days that the dark cloud that hovers over my heads really takes charge and zaps me of all my motivation. It was a great opportunity over the last 4 months, to really focus on this area of my life and I am thankful to have had the chance to do this.

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So what have I learned over the past 4 months? Well, I still feel really lost in terms of my direction for my career. I’m not entirely sure where I am headed in any real facet. It has been great to have the opportunity to learn a bit more about myself and what I want. I know I am really focused on being present in all my activities, and am determined to find happiness in my career. I would love to find something that makes me happy but is also a source of income. The past 4 months have definitely been a challenge and I’m not entirely certain if it would be possible to find this, but I am optimistic and hopeful.

My next post will review a bit more about what I’ve discovered that I really enjoy doing and what I don’t. Maybe you will be able to shed some light on what that looks like for a career?

 

Until next time…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Changing Mindset

Hello again.

I am so sorry for my inconsistency. I am consciously trying to focus on more consistent blogging!

A few thoughts that have been running through my head recently have been focused on choice. I feel that in this period of transition (between school programs and real life) that I have been under this deep fog or this raincloud that hovers over my head. I have always dealt with this, but it has really been magnified during this period of my life.

My thoughts in the last few days have been on choosing to be happy and productive. I have consciously tried to monitor my feelings as of late and have noticed that sometimes I just do not want to do things. This morning was a particular example when I woke up at 8am (purposely trying to be productive) and was not inclined to do anything work related. By 8:30 though, I was feeling more excited to go to my yoga class. I’m not sure what changed but I think being conscious of monitoring my feelings definitely played a role.

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Now, I wouldn’t say I’m initially afraid of what could go wrong, but I feel like I need to focus on what could go right. Fear doesn’t drives me but rather this cloud that is hanging over me, just limits my motivation and drive. It has taken me a few months, but I hope coming to the realization that if I focus on monitoring and focusing my energy and feelings I will be able to reach for things that I’ve always been told are in front of me.

I’m hoping this little experiment of mine will pan out and help me get out of this ever present fog. Being mindful and importantly okay with the feelings I acknowledge will help me identify what is important to me and hopefully help me find what I want. Mindfulness is a topic that has come up in some of my psychology classes, but I have never really focused on it in my personal life. Hopefully these baby steps will help me be and present myself in a way that I want to be fully.

 

Now for some blog goals: I will consistently blog every Monday.